Whether preparing to speak to a large audience, or gearing up to have a difficult conversation with just one other person, we all want to be able to speak with confidence. It does not, however, come that easily to many of us. Even seasoned leaders are sometimes betrayed by faltering words or demeanors, and we could all use a lesson (or at least some reminders) in effectively getting our points across. So once again we turn to the amazing initiative out of Wharton, the nano-tools for leaders. These nano-tools are quick changes to the brain anyone can put into practice. Their latest is from associate professor Jonah Berger and concerns speaking with confidence.
Based on research from his new book, Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way, Mr. Berger dives into four techniques that will change the way leaders use language to get their ideas across. Step one is what he calls “ditching hedges”. Hedges, of course, being words that call our ideas into question. Words like “maybe”, “presumably”, “arguably”, etc. can reflect uncertainty on the part of the speaker. If the speaker is not confident in their own ideas, who can be?
The second technique is the direct flip side of the first: use definites. Words like “clearly”, “undoubtedly”, “certainly” project that the speaker is entirely confident in what is being communicated. Small changes in adverbs can apparently make a big difference!
Third, and probably the most familiar piece of advice here, is to ditch hesitations or filler words. Words like “uh”, “um”, etc. are common verbal tics that cause the speaker to seem uncertain. Now, there is an argument to be made here that using these words sparingly is completely fine (see this HBR article from a few years back). Even the HBR folks agree, though, that excessive use of these words is harmful. Instead, argues Berger, try pausing. Pausing allows the speaker time to gather thoughts together without detracting from their argument.
Finally, Mr. Berger advises speakers to ditch the past-tense. Your idea didn’t “work” well, it “works” well. In order to truly change an audience’s minds, switching to the present tense creates an atmosphere of not only confidence, but comfort. You are comfortable with this ongoing success, and happy to share it with everyone. Give the full article a read here and see if you can adopt these techniques into your speaking routines.
